Sometimes Things Just Stop
by Dallirious
Summary: While preparing for The First Lady’s birthday party, Toby and CJ find themselves saying goodbye. WARNING: Character Death. Chapter 4 now up
1. CJ

**Title:** Sometimes Things Just Stop  
**Fandom:** The West Wing  
**Characters:** CJ Cregg/Toby Ziegler  
**Rating:** PG  
**Summary:** While preparing for The First Lady's birthday party, Toby and CJ find themselves saying goodbye.

**Author's Notes:** WARNING: Character Death

* * *

**Thursday Night  
****6:45pm**

He waited patiently which, in itself, was an amazing feat for Toby. In all the years they'd known each other, he'd never known CJ to take so long in the bathroom. After a moment he began tapping his foot. All she was doing was applying make-up.

"CJ!" He called out, his eyes darting to the clock. If she came out at that moment, they could still make it to the party on time. In five minutes time they will still be able to make it before Abbey arrived. There was no reply from the other side of the door. "CJ, we're going to be late." Still no response was heard, and Toby began to worry. At the very least he expected to hear her yell at him to shut up. But there was no noise whatsoever.

Almost two hours earlier…

* * *

**5:05pm**

_"Toby, slow down, I'm not feeling good." CJ groaned as he drove them home from work._

_"We don't have to go tonight." He assured her. As he stole a glance at her, he noted her deathly pale complexion. "You don't look well."_

_"Well thankyou." CJ rolled her eyes, snuggling into the passenger seat as much as she could. "We have to go Toby its Abbey's birthday. She'll be upset if we don't turn up."_

_"She'd understand if you're not well." Toby muttered, not wanting to start an argument over such a trivial thing._

_"If she finds out I'm sick she'll want to leave the party and see what's wrong."_

_"True," He agreed as he steered the car into their driveway. "But at least you're less likely to collapse in the middle of a crowded room."_

_"Knowing my luck, I would anyway." A slight smile managed to brighten up her face, and he could do nothing but agree to let her go._

* * *

**6:52pm**

Taking a deep breath, he flung open the bathroom door. She lay unconscious on the cold bathroom tiles. Her dark blue dress, still neatly hugging her body, was saturated in blood from the waist down. "CJ talk to me." He knelt down beside her, his hand brushing her forehead.

"I feel sick." She murmured, biting her lip as she began to feel the pain course through her body. It seemed to be much more comfortable for her to keep her eyes closed then even try to open them.

"It's okay I just want you to lay there while I call for an ambulance." He said softly. She remained unaware of her own blood loss, and if he stayed calm maybe she wouldn't open her eyes and discover it. Then she wouldn't panic. Hurrying out to the hall, he fumbled with the phone as his mind tried to focus on the task at hand.

From where she lay, CJ groaned in pain. Her hand gently kneaded the burning cramp in her abdomen. She tried to move and groaned again as her back muscles tensed up. Abbey's birthday, she could remember getting ready for the party before everything went black. She'd been bent over the sink after a cramp had ripped through her body. "Toby!" She called out, her voice seeming to echo inside her own head. Her hand moved up to pinch the bridge of her nose. Every muscle in her body seemed to be throbbing with pain. "Toby, where are you?"

"I'm here." She heard him say and as he pressed a kiss against her head, she opened her eyes.

"What took you so long Tobus?" She whispered, smiling softly.

"I called an ambulance."

"You didn't have to do that." She closed her eyes again. "Can you turn the heat lights off?"

"Are they too bright?" Toby glanced up and flinched.

"My head hurts." She sighed, turning her head so that her cheek rested on the cold bathroom floor.

"You had a fall. I don't know how long you've been out." Toby said as he quickly stood up and moved to the door. "Keep talking to me CJ." He reminded her, as he flicked the switch returning to the normal lights. Turning around, he notice CJ had her eyes open again and was staring at the ceiling.

"Maybe I am going to hell." Blood was beginning to stain the white tiles, but she remained unaware of it, too focused on the pain in her body to take not of anything else. "Those prayers aren't working for me. I want a refund." She managed to smile, at her own little joke.

"You didn't pay them to pray for you." He told her, kneeling down next to her again. "This damn ambulance is taking its sweet time." He growled.

"I'm hungry." She replied, becoming a little dazed.

"I don't think we're on the same wavelength." Toby commented, glancing at his watch and moving to hold her hand.

"I know, isn't it fascinating. We do that a lot." She sighed, flinching as she felt another jab of pain shoot up her back. "Was that the door?"

"I left it open." Toby said as he quickly got to his feet again. "Don't go anywhere…"

"I'll try not to."

Friday Morning

* * *

**9:00am**

"Toby?" He looked up from where he sat on the edge of the bath. "Are you okay?" Ginger opened the door a little wider and dared to step inside.

"I'd like to be alone right now."

"I just thought you'd like to know that CJ's Dad just arrived." She said softly, watching for any sign that signalled he was really coping fine.

"Thankyou Ginger, I'm going to stay here."

"Okay." She smiled a little. "I'll try and direct people away from this area." Without another word, Ginger disappeared back into the world that Toby was trying desperately to block out. The cameras, the people… they were all too much. He wanted to be alone. After all, that's what he was now. He was alone. At first he hadn't believed it was possible, and then came the briefing. The Bartlet's had been notified and the girls had arrived within three hours. Abbey politely apologised and asked everyone to leave her birthday party, as something personal had happened and she did not feel she would make a suitable hostess for the rest of the evening. Five minutes later, Josh was sent into the briefing room to deliver the news to the Press. Whether they knew it or not she loved them, and they were part of her family.

* * *

**Thursday Night  
****7:40pm**

_"Could everyone please take their seats?" Josh called out over the commotion as a very confused bunch of journalists filed into the briefing room. He strode up to the podium and placed his notes in front of him. The last time he'd had to do the briefing, CJ was in pain from emergency root canal and he'd screwed it up. This time was different. This time, it wasn't a real news briefing. It was simply to express to her extended family, what had just taken place._

_"Where's CJ?" Katie asked as she sat down, pulling her Dictaphone out of her pocket. "Surely she's not letting you do an important briefing again." She smiled as everyone laughed. Josh ignored her comment and began as soon as everyone was seated._

_"Ladies and Gentlemen, at seven o'clock this evening, White House Press Secretary, Claudia Jean Cregg was rushed to hospital after collapsing in her home." Josh noticed every pen in the room freeze as he spoke. "Doctors worked for half an hour, but her condition deteriorated."_

_"What's happening?" Chris asked slowly._

_"By the time she'd arrived at the hospital she had already lost a lot of blood, there was nothing they could do." Josh took a moment to compose himself before repeating what he'd been told. "CJ Cregg, died on the operating table."_

* * *

**  
A/N:** I'm not sure whether I want to write more of this. It was just for a quick challenge on LiveJournal  



	2. Toby

**Chapter 2:** Toby

* * *

Two distinct noises filled the back of the ambulance, the least assaulting of the two being the sirens. The constant wailing was almost silenced by CJ's crying. Her pain was all Toby could focus on and he cringed as her grip on his hand tightened. She cried out as the pain pulsed through her body. "Can't we stop moving?" She cried. One hand held firmly to Toby's while the other gripped her stomach.

"We're almost there." Toby attempted to assure her as he brushed hair from her eyes. "Just try and relax."

"Try having your body ripped apart from the inside, and see if you relax." She growled back at him.

"Miss Cregg is there anything we need to be aware of when we get you to the hospital?" The paramedic asked. He noticed a worried look pass between the two as he spoke.

"There's nothing, besides what I've already told you." Toby replied before CJ had a chance to.

"You told them already?" She asked carefully, still holding his hand in a firm grip. At his sharp nod she tensed a little. "I guess it's a good thing we didn't tell anyone." She managed to smile slightly, momentarily ignoring the pain that seemed to echo in every inch of her body.

"I wanted to tell everybody I spoke to." He admitted softly, pressing a kiss to her hand as the paramedic injected her with a sedative.

"I know, so did I." CJ began to relax and she wasn't sure whether it was her own doing, or if the sedative was spreading quickly through her weakening system. "Carol has been bugging me about my on-going good mood. I'm pregnant. That's all I wanted to say every time." Closing her eyes for a moment, CJ tried desperately to hold onto the joyous feeling that came with saying those two words out loud.

"Carol would have emailed everyone an announcement with…"

"With countless spelling mistakes."

"It would have spoiled the surprise." Toby played with her fingers for a moment. "I almost told Ginger the day you told me. She was scared, because I seemed to be happy."

"You even scare Leo when you do that." She was finding it increasingly difficult to keep her eyes open. All she wanted to do was sleep.

"What did you just give her?" He frowned towards the paramedic, taking note of how calm she'd become.

"It was a mild sedative," The younger man explained. "It merely decreases the pain to a larger extent than the one I gave her originally."

"Toby," She grabbed his attention before he could start a debate over whether or not she needed another sedative. "I think I'm a little out of it."

"Claudia Jean, you were born that way."

"Just remember what Hogan said about Fish. It helps." She smiled, as she finally allowed her eyes to close. "I love you Toby."

"I love you too CJ." As he pressed a kiss against her hand, he noticed her breathing even out. With all the noise around her, CJ had given in to the call of sleep. "Hogan." He muttered, frowning as he tried to work out what she was talking about. The ambulance finally pulled to a stop, after what seemed like hours. The paramedic was saying something to him, but all Toby could focus on was holding onto CJ's limp hand as they began to move into the hospital. He wanted to hold onto her hand for the entire operation, like taking a child to the dentist for the first time. It was too hard to let go. But as they neared the operating room, a nurse stopped him from entering. He froze, watching her disappear into the forbidden room. He hadn't even noticed her hand slip from his. One moment had passed and she was suddenly out of sight.

Not paying any attention to the young nurse trying to speak to him, Toby looked down at his hand. When had he let go? It felt as though she was still there, like she was just standing next to him holding his hand. He could still feel her smooth palm. The feeling just seemed to linger there as if it had nowhere else to go. Words could not begin to express the tangled web of emotions that was slowly being weaved within his mind and heart.

"Sir, is there anyone I can contact for you?"

"The White House." He replied without even needing to think it through. One look at the young woman told him she had no idea what was going on. Hadn't she seen who'd just been brought in? Because clearly, she was under the impression he was slightly deranged. "On that operating table is the White House Press Secretary. I suggest you get whoever runs this damn place to call the White House." He growled.

"Is there anyone in particular…"

"Donna Moss. She'll be able to handle it." As the nurse scurried away, Toby found himself left alone with his thoughts. Somehow he managed to find his way to the private waiting room, and there he remained. There are times when even the happiest thoughts can crumble into a desperate struggle for hope. And as Toby mulled over every moment of his life with CJ, the night's outcome became all too clear. It seemed the moment a pessimist searches for hope, it has already been lost.

* * *

He was no longer alone. That was, at least, a blessing after close to half an hour of pure loneliness. His eyes travelled around the room. Zoey had arrived only moments ago and sat silently in the corner. He'd considered talking to her but thought better of it. She seemed content on coffee runs and awaiting the arrival of her parents, while he was content with not talking – therefore, making the whole thing a little bit easier on both parties. Nearby, however, there was noise. Margaret and Ginger sat with Carol who was desperately trying to digest the news. He could hear her whispering questions to them. Questions that she needed answered, but could not be.

For once Toby was unable to write away his problems. There was no way to describe what he was feeling, or even the atmosphere that engulfed the room. Waiting was hard. Waiting to hold her, talk to her, and kiss her. Even just waiting to see her take to that familiar podium and watch her running rings around the Press Corps again.

"Mr Ziegler, could I speak to you out here for a moment?" Everyone's attention turned to the Doctor standing in the doorway.

"Sure, why not." Standing, Toby followed the Doctor out into the hallway where they sat alone and talked. The atmosphere in the room was painful. Everyone wanted to say something, or have something reassuring said to them, but no one was willing to do so. Except for one.

"Leo?" Margaret stood as her boss entered the room, she sat down with him by the door. "I'm worried about Toby. What if…" Turning, Leo glared at his assistant.

"We're all worried about both Toby and CJ." He pointed out. "Whatever happens, they know they can turn to us for support. How's Carol doing?" If he didn't change the subject Margaret would remain on the 'what-if' track for too long. It was not something anyone wished to discuss. Saying it would make it too real and Margaret, being Margaret, was the only one who felt the need to do that.

"Carol's real upset." Margaret said quietly. "Donna's taking care of everything for her."

"Alone?"

"Josh, Sam and Bonnie are helping out." She frowned, as if it was the obvious answer. "They decided it would be best not to flood the waiting room, give Toby some space to breathe. I promised to call with any…" She trailed off as Toby walked back into the room.

"What did the Doctor say?" Carol asked cautiously.

"Can we see her Toby?" Zoey's voice, strong and determined, broke through his thoughts and he took a deep breath. But no words were uttered. Toby glanced over the worried faces looking back at him. Each person was eagerly waiting to hear his next words.

"There was a lot of blood loss." He began slowly. Everything in his mind was forming simple sentences as he opened his mouth. Like speaking was the only thing it was capable of controlling at the time. "There were complications with the surgery and they weren't able to stabilise her. She's gone." With those two words he suddenly felt a rush of adrenalin. The moment they were spoken it was as if someone had smashed his chest open with a hammer. He breathed in deeply and sat down. Hiding his face in his hands, he tried desperately to avoid watching them digest the news. He'd hardly even had the chance to do so himself. One minute she was with him and then suddenly she'd been taken away. It wasn't real. It couldn't be real, it was all too sudden.

"I'll go call Donna and let them know." Margaret said softly, laying a hand on Toby's shoulder. She glanced at Leo, who simply stared at his hands. No one else seemed to be taking action except for Margaret, because it was the only thing she really knew how to do.

"They'll let us see her soon." Toby told her before she left the room. Again, he was waiting. There was a nagging feeling that it was all a cruel joke. CJ's idea of payback for leaking a story and, subsequently, embarrassing her a few weeks ago. She'd promised to get him bad. Maybe this was all a big joke. But then there was the blood. He turned his hands over, and glanced at his knees. His black suit pants were simply dark in most places from the blood on the bathroom floor. It was too much blood for the whole thing to be anything else but reality.


	3. Josh

**Summary:** Donna gets the news, and Josh has to deliver it to the nation.

**

* * *

Thursday Night  
****7:35pm**

--  
For a moment all Donna could do was stare at the phone, her hand still resting on the receiver. She noticed movement from the corner of her eye and looked up to see Josh standing over her. "Margaret just called…" Her voice was stuck I her throat and she didn't know what to say.

"Is it scenario one, or two?" Josh asked, knowing the code would be easier for her to say.

"Two," Tears escaped Donna's eyes and she tried her best to stop from bursting into tears. He needed to know what was happening. "They said she'd lost too much blood by the time she'd arrived at the hospital. Doctors worked for half an hour but nothing could be done. She's gone, Josh." She watched as Josh took off down the hallway, finally allowing herself to breakdown.

"Donna?" Sam rushed to her side after seeing Josh run down the hallway.

"We need to call CJ's family now, before they hear it on the news." She told Sam quickly, brushing away her tears. "We need to deal with everything that has to be done first." He nodded and hurried to get Bonnie. They needed to be quick, if they didn't want CJ's family to find out in the worst possible way.

* * *

Josh stopped outside the Briefing Room, his hand resting against the door. He couldn't believe what he was about to do, but it had to be done and he couldn't wait to find Sam. The people in that room meant a lot to her, and they had to know. Breathing deeply he opened the door and strode into the room. "Could everyone please take their seats?" Josh called out over the commotion as a very confused bunch of journalists filled into the room. His hands rested firmly on the sides of the podium, a chance for him to stop from losing his balance. 

"Where's CJ?" His eyes focused on Katie as she sat down. "Surely she's not letting you do an important briefing again." He ignored her as best he could, he needed to focus on what had to be done.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, at seven o'clock this evening, White House Press Secretary Claudia Jean Cregg was rushed to hospital after collapsing in her home." Every pen in the room froze, every dictaphone was lowered, and there was nothing but silence in the room. "Doctors worked for half an hour, but her condition deteriorated…"

"What's happening?' Chris asked slowly, the only one able to find their voice.

"By the time she'd arrive at the hospital she had already lost a lot of blood, there was nothing they could do." Josh took a moment to compose himself before repeating what he'd been told. "CJ Cregg, died on the operating table."

"Have you heard from Toby?" Steve asked.

"Toby was the one who found her when she collapsed," Josh replied, trying to think up a god sentence on the spot. "He's been with her the entire time, and he's still at the hospital at the moment awaiting the arrival of the President and the First Lady. That's all the details I have for you, we'll keep you updated as we learn more." With that said Josh left the room, leaving the Press Corps in silence.

"I can't believe she's gone," Katie turned around in her chair to check how Danny was, but his seat was empty. "What are we going to do? I mean, we have to do something."

"Yeah, we'll do something Katie." Chris assured her quietly. The silence in the room slowly disappeared as questions started flying around and a decision was made on what they could do for CJ and her family.


	4. Abbey

**Thursday Night  
8pm**

* * *

From where she sat, Abbey took in the sight before her. Toby, dishevelled and covered in blood, was slumped in a chair. He hadn't moved or talked since she arrived and Abbey wasn't entirely sure how to comfort him. Jed had gone with Zoey and Leo to the chapel down the hall, and Abbey was left with Carol, Toby and Ginger. Without thinking she began to chew bite her nails, a nervous habit she hadn't done since she was a teenager. Her eyes lingered on Toby's hands. He was rubbing them together as he sat alone, and for a moment it reminded her of Lady Macbeth. Except that there was literally blood on Toby's hands, but he wasn't tying to remove it. Abbey stood up, frustrated, and left the room, heading for the information desk. "Excuse me?"

"Can I help you ma'am?" The young nurse asked as she looked up, the compassion in her eyes quite obvious.

"I'd like to speak to the Doctors that treated Claudia Cregg." Abbey said quietly, her eyes flicked up to the clock on the wall. It had been an hour since CJ had arrived at the hospital. So much could happen in sixty minutes.

"Dr Thatcher will be with you in a minute, if you'll just take a seat."

"Thankyou." Abbey replied, moving to sit down. As she looked up at the television she found herself watching CJ speaking to the Press, as the news bar explained that she had passed away. A montage of video clips and photos were being shown, and Abbey found herself comforted by that familiar smile.

"Dr Bartlet?" She stood up as the Doctor approached her. "I'm Dr Thatcher. I was told you wanted to speak with me?" The two took a seat and Abbey took one more look up at the television before she spoke.

"I'd like to know what happened in the ER."

"Ma'am, I'm sorry but, as you know, we should be speaking to a family member…"

"Dr Thatcher, CJ's family won't be here until the morning. Her fiancé is sitting in there trying to work out why God has taken away the love of his life. Meanwhile, there is a room full of media that is trying to get details to find out how they lost someone they admired, and the President of the United States feels like he's just lost one of his own daughters," Abbey growled quietly, noticing her Secret Service detail watching her. "I just want to know how a strong and healthy person like CJ Cregg is suddenly on her way to your morgue." She clenched her jaw, waiting for the information she wanted and she wasn't about to leave until she got it.

"Stress, ma'am." He replied simply.

"Stress?" Letting her defences drop, Abbey suddenly found herself even more confused then she had been.

"Were you aware that Miss Cregg was pregnant?" Dr Thatcher asked quietly.

"No I wasn't," Abbey admitted, thinking about the last few times she'd spoken to CJ. "I do know that she suffered a miscarriage earlier in the year. How far along was she?"

"Ten weeks, ma'am."

"And so the blood loss was from another miscarriage?"

"Yes ma'am, we can't say for sure what happened to her physically until an autopsy has been carried out. But we do know that the wall of her uterus ruptured, and she lost a lot of blood before the paramedics got to her."

"Is she in the morgue?" Abbey asked after a moment, not sure what to say.

"Her body was taken down there a few moments ago. I can organise for you to view the body if you'd like, the autopsy won't take place until a family member has signed the paperwork. So she hasn't been touched."

"Yes thankyou," At the thought of CJ lying on a slab ready for an autopsy, Abbey was suddenly feeling nauseous. "I'll head down there in a moment, thankyou for your help."

"If there's anything else I can do for you Dr Bartlet…" He let the sentence hang as they both stood.

"Thankyou," Abbey nodded and headed back into the family room. "Toby?" She at down next to him and he looked up at her, dark eyes unsure and distant.

"Yes Ma'am?"

"Have you seen her?"

"No Ma'am." He says quietly, but there's a desperate look in his eyes that says he wants to.

"Okay, they've moved her down to the morgue," Abbey told him quietly, trying not to disturb Carol and Ginger. "But I'd like you to come with me to see her." He nodded slowly and she took his hand in hers. "It's going to be okay." She promised him. Slowly they began the long walk down to the morgue. His hands were shaking, and she had the worst feeling that she was going to throw up. But it had to be done.

* * *

There was a deafening silence, interrupted by the slate being rolled out of the freezer. The room was cold and sterile, a horrible place to say goodbye. The nurse left them alone, and Abbey stood silently as she watched Toby. They stood on either side of the body, neither willing to remove the white sheet. But they had plenty of time. The secret service had agreed to sand outside the room after securing it, and it was just them. "Are you ready Toby?" She asked quietly, she didn't want to rush him into anything.

"Is anyone ever ready for this?" He asked. His attention was on the feet sticking out from underneath the sheet, a white tag hanging from one of the toes.

"Alright…" Abbey gently folded the top part of the sheet down. There were a few blood stains on her face, from where Toby had brushed hair out of her eyes and caressed her cheek. Her makeup was still there, and she looked like she would have been okay to just get up and go to the party. That seemed to bother Toby too, and Abbey watched silently as he gently wiped away what little makeup she had on.

"She's not very cold," Toby muttered, placing his hand against her cheek. "I guess though I expected her to be more…" He couldn't think of how he intended to end his sentence, and gave up. His hand lingered on CJ's cheek.

"She hasn't been down here very long." Abbey said, touching CJ's shoulder softly. A chill spread through her, and she was tempted to take a step back. There was something unsettling about being in a morgue and seeing a friend dead.

"Goodnight," Toby whispered, pressing a kiss against CJ's forehead. "I love you." He took one last look at her peaceful expression and covered her face with the sheet.


End file.
